Goodbye to all my friends I've knownAnd the travel agent I trusted.I'm riding along on this beat-up old plane;Look out the window. All the rivets are rusted.As that ground crew pushes us backwardsOn that rickety L-1011,I'm feeling around for that flotation device,And when the safety film is shown,I'm payin' close attention.Beat-up old jetliner,Hope you got a tune-up today.Ohhhh, beat-up old jetliner,Did they sneak you past the FAA?Bouncin' 'round in a thunder cloud,Landing gear won't come down.My seatback is up and my belt is on.I see the fire crews sprayin' foam on the ground.And if I get to my final destination,I know the next flight will surely be free.But I don't think I'll go back upInto that piece of shit just to save a few pennies.Beat-up old jetlinerWon't carry me too far today.Ohhhh, give me a fresh airliner;I don't care what I've got to pay.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Beat-up old jetliner,Don't carry me too far today.Ohhhh, beat-up old jetliner,'Cause it's home that I'd rather stay.Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.I've just turned off the no-smokin' sign.I figure, hell, if the plane's smokin' why shouldn't you.
