There's an evil force spreading far and wide'Cross this kingdom of pipes and fungusWe have seen the hell of each deadly turtle shellBut a hero resides among usNot a towering man, not a daunting knightStill, a smart lionheart is heWho is this noble demigod?It's a-meIt's a-meThere's a tyrant king with a reptile heartAnd he's started a wave of crime nowFrom his ship high above he abducted my loveFor, like, the fourteenth or fifteenth time nowWho will stop this foe? Who will save the day?Win this war, yes, victoriouslyI'll give you just one guess, time's upIt's a-meIt's a-meI have hopped through his hordes, so much blood on my shoesWith a murderous battle cry: "hoo-hoo!"I have burnt them alive with the fire from my handsEvery last one, I vow, shall die!And I run underneath as the tyrant leapsAnd I turn just in time as he finally reaps his recompense:Death by lavaAnd I run down the hall, for I cannot waitI'm unstoppable now on a charge heading straight into the armsOf my loverThank you, Mario, but our Princess is in another castleOhThere's an anguished man with a forlorn faceFor it's cold and the nights are lonelyHe looks all around, but his Princess can't be foundIt's his fault and it's his fault onlyHe brought on this war with a cocky grinOnly now does he truly seeHe hoisted this upon himselfWho is this Italian handyman elf?It's a-me
