Cretin

Uncle Percy Lyrics



Retarded Uncle Percy lives

At his sister's place

Her children help clean up his mess

While she is away

One day he hugged the family dog

Tighter than he should

Then dragged the dead thing by it's leash

Around the neighborhood



Grieving in the cemetery

Where they bury pets

Uncle Percy yelps and barks

Not understanding death

He tries to cheer the children up

He hates to see them cry

His simple ways just make things worse

Percy wonders why



[Guitar solo: Martinez]



He plans to resurrect the pet

Dig it from the ground

Present them with their faithful friend

Their decomposing hound

He finds his way back to the grave

Very late that night

Digs up the dog and skins it with

His rusty pocketknife



Stab into the rotting beast and strip it of it's pelt

Double-knotting shoelace strings, he ties it to himself

Dropping down onto all fours, he hopes they can pretend

This naked, bloody cretin is their favorite furry friend



Wearing dog skin like a mask, he lumbers through the yard

He chases birds and squirrels and toys – a growling, yelping tard

He scratches at the children's window, hoping they will play

Horrified, the children scream and scare Percy away