Ally McBeal Lyrics

Once upon a time you were on prime time

Made the Monday lineup on Fox at 9:00, didn’t you?

Your complaints and whines while defendin’ crimes

In your high hemlines made Gloria Steinem spit on you



And all the ’90s women heed your call

And share your deep desire to have it all

But they don’t see the way you stay so small

Behind the locked door of the bathroom stall

Sittin’ there, hunched over and purging your last meal



Ally McBeal

Ally McBeal

Nothing but skin and bone

Just like a Kate Moss clone

Without no muscle tone

Like a skele-tone



You can try to lie, say your metabolism’s high

But I ain’t gonna buy it when you’re outsized by

Ethiopians

And I just can’t stand you in your damn flannel jammies

Dancin’ ’round, plannin’ which man’ll get the grand

tour of your fallopians



I just don’t get what all the people see

In your self-involvement and hypocrisy

Your Pop-Tart feminism and cheap neuroses

As I stare into the vacuum of my T.V.

Scratching my head and trying to understand your appeal



Ally McBeal

Ally McBeal

Think of all the chunks you’ve blown

And all the up you’ve thrown

Into your porcelain throne

Regurgitati-one