[Verse 1]The erection's got me readySo, I’m strapping on my capGonna find myself a fertile eggWhen I'm blown from this sackIt's gonna be the best orgasmThat there’s ever beenThe quiver starts, Its up the tube“Oh, shit a magazine!”[Chorus]Things ain't much fun from a sperm's point of viewAfraid there'll be no eggs, just a great big piece of gooSitting in the sack waiting for the sights unseenBut someone's got to tell the jerk I can't make a magazine![Verse 2]The whole thing's started overBut something's not the sameThere seems to be a different pulseCoursing through my veinsI feel the comforting grip of the walls that hold me tightBut its headfirst in a piece of shitThis prick just can’t get it rightI wish I had another chance to try it all againBut a sperm’s only got one shotWhen ejected from a veinWe never know where we goWe leave it up to youBut we'd rather have a stinky eggThan a rancid piece of poo[Chorus]Things ain’t much fun from a sperm's point of viewAfraid there'll be no eggs, just a great big piece of gooSitting in the sack waiting for the sight's unseenBut someone’s got to tell the jerk I can't make a magazine![Verse 3]He's got a spermal backupSo, he's on the prowl againWadding through the disco barTo find that special friendHe spots a bitch across the barHe'd love to take her homeThey dance and drink and catch a cabTo home and on the boneThe jacker finally got it rightI got myself an egg!It's only just a one-night standBut he didn't have to begNow she's pounding at the doorWith her baby boy in handFor alimony and child supportYou should've used your head![Chorus]Things ain't much fun from a sperm's point of viewAfraid there'll be no eggs, just a great big piece of gooSitting in the sack waiting for the sight's unseenBut someone's got to tell the jerk I can't make a magazine
