Oh, deary me
My little brother's in his bedroom
Smoking weed
I tell him he should get up'Cause it's nearly half-past three
He can't be bothered
'Cause he's high on THC
I ask him very nicelyIf he'd like a cup of tea
I can't even see him
'Cause his room is so smoky
Don't understand
How one can watch so much TV
My baby brother Alfie
How I wish that you could see
Oh, I only say it 'cause I careSo please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now, there's no need to swear
Please don't despair
My dear mon frèreOh, Alfie get up
It's a brand new day
I just can't sit back
And watch you waste your life awayYou need to get a job
Because the bills need to get paid
Get off your lazy arse
Alfie, please use your brain
Surely there's some walls out there
That you can go and spray
I'm feeling guiltier
For leading you astray
Now how the hell do you ever expect
That you'll get laid
When all you do is stay in
Playing your computer gamesOh, I only say it 'cause I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now, there's no need to swear
Please don't despair
My dear mon frère
Oh, little brother
Please refrain from doing that
I'm trying to help you out
So can you stop being a twat?
It's time that you and I
Sat down and had a little chat
And look me in the eye
Take off that stupid fitted cap
Oh, I only say it 'cause I care
So please can you stop pulling my hair
Now, now, there's no need to swear
Please don't despair
Please don't despair
Now mon frère
