Aunty lacks the social gracesShe pulls the most peculiar facesIn the most public of placesShe really is a screamHer voice is lound, her manners tooHer dresses green and her jokes quite blueBut you should see her dance the Hoochie CooThe Lindy or the FrogEveryone says Aunty's thriftyBut they don't know her hidden gifts sheSeldom pays but goes "shoplifty"She's mastered slight of handShe favours all the better storesShoplifting from floor to floorAnd always one step from the lawHer friends are bores or frightful smartiesThey're really not the type for AuntyStill, she gives the most outrageous partiesAnd everybody comesA nuisance everywhere she goesAn embarrassment to those she knowsBut I know where her money goesShe's left it all to me
