[Verse 1: Student Loan & Kevin Temmer]Hey, buddy! It's me, your Student Loan(Spoken) No, no, no, no, no, go away!I tried calling, but you wouldn't pick up the phone(Spoken) How did you get my number?! Tee hee hee hee!I really wanted to see youYour next payment will be dueI know you love me, don't want to hear you sigh or moan! Ugh![Verse 2: Student Loan & Kevin Temmer]You don't need life savingsWhen you've got a pal like meI'll satisfy your cravings for financial anxiety!'Cause every paycheck that you makeI'll blend into a protein shakeAnd slurp down every cent you've got'Cause boy, it hits the spot!(Spoken) ...I don't like you. How do I get rid of you? Hmm...![Verse 3: Student Loan & Kevin Temmer]You could ask the bank for some forgiveness (Forgiveness)But the chances of that happening are quite mild (Spoken) Then why would you suggest it?And if they never forgive youI'm probably gonna outlive youAnd start hanging with your future child! (Spoken) You really sound like a creep now![Verse 4: Student Loan & Kevin Temmer]Don't you know I'll always be your beau?Gee, I'll go thank the dean!Hey, you're the one who signed your life awayYeah, when I was seventeen!I couldn't comprehend my fateMuch less define an interest rateI wish it was up for debate, but now it's far too late![Verse 5: Kevin Temmer and Both]Well, I guess I'm stuck with you!Gotta pay every stupid dueSo billionaires can get more richAnd scratch their neverending itchTo throw our bodies in a ditch like a pile of bones!With their dumb student loans!Screw student loans!
